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"I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there."
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Fun fact : Nearly 10% of American households dress their pets in Halloween costumes. - from

McQuillan walked into a bar [ Irish Jokes ]
McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman ...

Why is it so hard for women to find kind, sweet... [ Relationships ]
Why is it so hard for women to find kind, sweet,sensitive men in this world?Because they already have boyfriends! ...

Army general at Christmas [ Miscellaneous ]
What does an army general kiss under at christmas? Missile toe ...

How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning [ Miscellaneous ]
? Fertilized. ...

Bill Gates In Purgatory [ Miscellaneous ]
Bill gates has been in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter. "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure where to send you. After ...

Light bulb lawyers [ Lawyer Jokes ]
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?A0: Three; one to do it and two to sue him for malpractice.A1: It only takes one lawyer to change your light bulb to his light bulb.A2: You ...

Roll of toilet paper [ Gender Jokes ]
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?We don't know - it's never happened. ...

Two children are in a doctor's waiting room... [ Children ]
Two children are in a doctor's waiting room, and one of them is crying. "Why are you crying?" asked the other child. "I'm here for a blood test, and they're going to cut ...

Cannibal Food [ Miscellaneous ]
Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender missionary. I've baked 'em, I've roasted 'em, I've stewed ...

Little Johnny on the Farm! [ Miscellaneous ]
Little Johnny wakes up and comes down to breakfast. Since he lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores."Not yet," replied little Johnny.His mother tells him he can't ...

Scientists and the Mermaid! [ Miscellaneous ]
These three scientists decided to go fishing one day. So they packed up all of their gear and headed down to the lake.They were having terrible luck, they weren't catching a thing. But all the ...

Marketing that Makes Sense [ Sex Jokes ]
Finally, a definition of Marketing that makes sense....You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing.You're at ...

Going crazy with confusion [ Marriage Jokes ]
A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, "How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?" He got the following reply."Well, it all ...

The Very Special Parrot! [ Miscellaneous ]
A man walked into a pet store looking for a new pet for his wife.So he asked the salesman for some assistance. The salesguy brought the man to a parrot in the back."Now this is the perfect pet ...

Are there Jews in China? [ Miscellaneous ]
Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. "Sid," asked Al, "are there any Jews in China?""I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the ...