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Vampire Bat [ Animal Jokes ]
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling ...

Dog named Sex [ Animal Jokes ]
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the ...

Ant and Elephant have romance [ Animal Jokes ]
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Shit!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my ...

Difference between a cat and a dog... [ Animal Jokes ]
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live ...

rabbits chased by wolf [ Animal Jokes ]
Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, "Well, do you want to make a run ...

horse [ Animal Jokes ]
This horse walks in to a bar and asks for a bit to eat! ...

bear and a rabbit [ Animal Jokes ]
A bear is chasing a rabbit through a forest. They find a bottle and decide to rub it. A genie pops out. He says "I will grant each of you three wishes."The bear says "I wish all the ...

Do Elephants Ever Forget? [ Animal Jokes ]
Q: Does an elephant ever forget?A: Only if you loan him money. ...

Elephants and Cell-Phones [ Animal Jokes ]
Q: Why don't elephants use cellular phones?A: So the rest of the world won't know their plans. ...

I'll have a Penguin; shaken, not stirred [ Animal Jokes ]
Q: Why do penguins live in the Arctic?A: Because they can't fly to Florida like the rest of the old birds. ...

A blind man in a store [ Animal Jokes ]
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you ...

There are no dogs allowed here [ Animal Jokes ]
A man goes into a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This ...

Racoon Joke [ Animal Jokes ]
Why did the raccoon cross the road? He didn't, he got hit by a car. ...

Seeing Eye Dog [ Animal Jokes ]
A blind man was out walking with his seeing eye dog when suddenly the animal paused and wet the man's leg. Bending down, the blind man stretched out his hand and patted the dog's ...

Got Any Grapes? [ Animal Jokes ]
A ducks walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?" The bartender, confused, tells the ducks that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes. The duck thanks him and leaves. The next day, the ...