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Motherinlaw's Funeral [ Clean Jokes ]
A husband and wife stepped up to view the body of his mother-in-law. As he began to cry, his wife punched him and said: Why are you crying, you never liked my mother anyway. I know he replied, I ...

Mohammed and Douglas Adams [ Clean Jokes ]
Q: What do Mohammed and Douglas Adams have in common?A: A deep, abiding respect for the value of a towel on the head. ...

What's on your back? [ Clean Jokes ]
A German, an American, and a Mexican are traveling in the Amazon, and they get captured.The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"The ...

Jump out of the plane! [ Clean Jokes ]
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says, "We're having mechanical problems and the only ...

irish ... light bulb joke [ Clean Jokes ]
How many Irishmen does it take to replace a light bulb?30, 2 to hold the light bulb and 28 to drink till the room starts spinning. ...

a nerd, a nude, and a bike [ Clean Jokes ]
A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle. The first nerd was stunned and asked, "Where did you get such a nice ...

Death becomes nerd [ Clean Jokes ]
A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops in a bar for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying "NERDS NOT ALLOWED-ENTER AT YOUR OWN ...

10 Signs Your Amish Teen's In Trouble [ Clean Jokes ]
10. Sometimes stays in bed till after 6 am.9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.8. Shows up at barn raisings in full "Kiss" makeup.7. When you criticize him, he ...

You Know You're Out Of College When... [ Clean Jokes ]
1. Your salary is less than your tuition.2. Your potted plants stay alive.3. Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.4. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.5. You have to pay your own credit ...

Accountants and Engineers on a Train [ Clean Jokes ]
Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ...

You know you drink too much coffee when... [ Clean Jokes ]
1. Juan Valdez names his mule after you.2. You chew on your roommate's fingernails. 3. You can jump-start your car without cables. 4. You do twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize ...

How To Be Annoying (A Guide) [ Clean Jokes ]
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way." Drum on every available surface. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. Staple ...

Top Ten Subtle Differences Between College And Hell [ Clean Jokes ]
10. It doesn't snow in Hell.9. Everyone has heard of Hell.8. It's more fun getting into Hell.7. You can't fail out of Hell.6. At least you can sleep in Hell.5. Hell is forever, college ...

45 Cool Things To Do In A College Dorm Shower Stall [ Clean Jokes ]
1. Enter the stall, shower for about 3 minutes, then scream really loudly, exclaiming, "I didn't know I had one of THOSE!"2. Enter the stall, fully clothed. Do not undress and make ...

50 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator [ Clean Jokes ]
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and ...