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Types of computer viruses [ Computing Jokes ]
Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.Arnold Schwarzenegger ...

Bill Gates picks his own punishment [ Computing Jokes ]
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since ...

Would you define OCR? [ Computing Jokes ]
OCR - Optical Character RecognitionA technology that can take written words and convert them back into computer-readable form, provided they're in the right font, using the correct colors ...

Top Ten Ways Y2K Will Affect Disney World [ Computing Jokes ]
10. Accidental switch back to 19,000 Leagues Under the Sea.9. Screwed up computers report EuroDisney turning a profit.8. Air traffic control glitch causes Dumbo to smack into a DC-10.7. The ...

Floppy disk care [ Computing Jokes ]
By following the instructions below, you should have error-free, long-lasting floppy disks. Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak out of the disk and corrode the inner mechanics ...

The problem is at your end [ Computing Jokes ]
One of Microsoft's finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report ...

Mailing list users changing light bulbs [ Computing Jokes ]
Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?A: Exactly five hundred.1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed.7 ...

Some possible computer bumper stickers [ Computing Jokes ]
1. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding2. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.7. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)8. Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking ...

Have a Microsoft Christmas [ Computing Jokes ]
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except father's mouse. The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As father did last-minute ...

Diary of a computer lamer [ Computing Jokes ]
July 18I just tried to connect to America online, which I've heard is the best online service I can get. I can't connect, I don't know what is wrong.July 19Some guy at the tech support ...

The Apple explosion [ Computing Jokes ]
OFFICE MEMODate: 1/18/96SPINDLER CALLS IN AIR STRIKE, DESTROYS APPLE TO SAVE ITStock Price Increases 50%"We'll do it better," Says MicrosoftCUPERTINO, Calif. JANUARY 18, 1996The ...

Error codes in Windows [ Computing Jokes ]
WinErr 001: Windows loaded - System in danger WinErr 002: No Error - Yet WinErr 003: Dynamic linking error - Your mistake is now in every file WinErr 004: Erroneous error - Nothing is wrong WinErr ...

The top ten signs that your co-worker is a computer hacker [ Computing Jokes ]
10. You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000.9. He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes three years running.8. When asked for his phone number, he gives it ...

The 25 BBS Commandments [ Computing Jokes ]
Thou shall love thy BBS with all thy heart and all thy bytes. Thou shalt remember thy name and password. Thou shalt only call a BBS two times a day. Honor thy SysOp. Thou shalt not covet thy ...

why the television is better than the World Wide Web [ Computing Jokes ]
10. It doesn't take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channels.9. When was the last time you tuned in to "Melrose Place" and got a "Error 404" message? 8. There ...