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Recently seen [ Elderly Jokes ]
Recently seen on a card...Outside: We dont feel sorry for you blowing all those candles, what about us...Inside: ... We had to stay up all night lighting them! ...

Good & bad news [ Elderly Jokes ]
An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"Patient: "Well, give me the bad ...

Hard of hearing [ Elderly Jokes ]
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?""No," the second man replied, "It's ...

Movies changed [ Elderly Jokes ]
For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn.Handing ...

New hearing aid [ Elderly Jokes ]
Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to ...

Handling teens [ Elderly Jokes ]
A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very ...

Ode to cranky men [ Elderly Jokes ]
I chanced to pass a windowWhile walking through a mallWith nothing much upon my mind,Quite blank as I recall. I noticed in that windowA cranky-faced old man,And why he looked so crankyI didn't ...

I have bad news [ Elderly Jokes ]
The doctor tells his patient: "Well I have good news and bad news..." The patient says, "Lay it on me Doc. What's the bad news?" "You have Alzheimer's ...

I am not forgetful [ Elderly Jokes ]
Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can't ...

Automotive horror [ Elderly Jokes ]
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car ...

Guaranteed visits [ Elderly Jokes ]
An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ...

Getting old when [ Elderly Jokes ]
You know you're getting older when...Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere. Your little ...

You will forget it [ Elderly Jokes ]
An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the ...

Sharing everything [ Elderly Jokes ]
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the ...

Uncovering a scam [ Elderly Jokes ]
The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any of it. The ...