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I just had a dream about it [ Festival Jokes ]
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it ...

I'm sending out some cards [ Festival Jokes ]
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He ...

Real Church Bloopers... [ Festival Jokes ]
? Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help. ? Thursday night-Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow. ? Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. ? For ...

Do you go to church? [ Festival Jokes ]
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.The Pastor ...

Advertisements [ Festival Jokes ]
Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins. Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and ...

Top Signs That You're Too Old to Trick or Treat ... [ Festival Jokes ]
10. You get winded from knocking on the door. 9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you. 8. You ask for high fiber candy only. 7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose ...

Halloween handouts [ Festival Jokes ]
The Top 10 Least Popular Halloween HandoutsSpinach flavored Rice Cakes.Teeth removing TaffyMetamucil in a strawEx-Lax BrowniesCaramel Covered ZucchiniColored Crisco on a StickHot steaming bowl of ...

Geek's thanksgiving [ Festival Jokes ]
1. Be thankful you haven't been spammed!2. Be thankful your computer isn't down!3. Be thankful your favorite forum isn't down!4. Be thankful you don't have The Good Times virus!5. ...

The blonde Thanksgiving dinner [ Festival Jokes ]
It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see ...

The football-playing turkey [ Festival Jokes ]
The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach ...

A man forgot to buy turkey for Thanksgiving [ Festival Jokes ]
It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door."Please let me in," says the man desperately. "I forgot to buy a ...

Thanksgiving dinner prepared by kids [ Festival Jokes ]
A Thanksgiving Cookbookby Mrs. Geraghty's Kindergarten ClassNOTE: Mrs. Geraghty will not be reponsible for medical bills resulting from use of her cookbook.Ivette - Banana PieYou buy some ...

Things proven to change the course of Thanksgiving [ Festival Jokes ]
1. During the middle of the meal, turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told you they wouldn't notice that the turkey was four months past its expiration date. You were worried for ...

New Year Nerd Resolutions [ Festival Jokes ]
NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS YOU WON'TBE ABLE TO KEEP IF YOU'RE A NERD 16. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line ...

New Year Resolutions for Pets [ Festival Jokes ]
15. I will not eat other animals' poop. 14. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.13. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee ...