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A Choristers' Guide To Keeping Conductors In Line [ Instrument Jokes ]
The basic training of every singer should, of course, include myriad types of practical and theoretical emphases. One important area which is often neglected, however, is the art of one-upmanship. ...

Accordion jokes [ Instrument Jokes ]
An accordion is a bagpipe with pleats.Q: What is the definition of an optimist?A: An accordion player with a pager.Q: What is the difference between an Uzi and an accordion?A: The Uzi stops after 20 ...

Bagpipe jokes [ Instrument Jokes ]
Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?A: To get away from the noise.Q: What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper?A: Good question. We're still trying to find out too.Bagpipes (noun) - I ...

Banjo jokes [ Instrument Jokes ]
Q: How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb?A: Only one, but all the others gathered around will complain that that's not the way Earl Scruggs would have done it.Q: How can you ...

Bass jokes [ Instrument Jokes ]
Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist?A: He turned a peg and wouldn't tell the bass player which one.Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?A: Only one - but ...

Bassoon jokes [ Instrument Jokes ]
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?A: To get away from the bassoon recital.Q: Why is a bassoon better than an oboe? A: The bassoon burns longer. Q: What is a burning oboe good for? A: Setting a ...

Cello jokes [ Instrument Jokes ]
Q: What is the difference between a cello and a coffin?A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside.Q: Why are orchestra intermissions limited to 20 minutes?A: So you don't have to retrain the ...

Clarinet jokes [ Instrument Jokes ]
Q: What's the definition of a nerd?A: Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet.Q: Why do clarinetists leave their cases on the dashboard?A: So they can park in the handicap zones.Q: What do ...

Drum joke Q & A [ Instrument Jokes ]
Q: Why do drummers have a half ounce more brains than horses?A: So they don't disgrace themselves at the parade.Q: How do you know if there is a percussionist at the door?A: The knocking gets ...

Which drummer? [ Instrument Jokes ]
There's a five pound note on the floor. Of a thrash guitarist, a drummer who keeps good time, and a drummer who keeps bad time, who picks it up?The drummer who keeps bad time. The other drummer ...

What is your IQ? [ Instrument Jokes ]
Bob is throwing a party. He decides that, to break the ice at his party, he'll ask his guests what their I.Q. is--hopefully this will strike up an appropriate conversation from there.The day of ...

Looking to buy [ Instrument Jokes ]
A man walks into a shop. "You got one of them Marshall Hiwatt AC30 amplificatior thingies and a Gobson StratoBlaster geetar with a Fried Rose tremolo?""You're a drummer, ...

English horn jokes [ Instrument Jokes ]
Q: What is the difference between hearing an English horn solo and being tortured?A: One is far more painful to your ears.Q: What's the name of a good English horn player?A: I'll tell you ...

Flute jokes [ Instrument Jokes ]
Q: What's the definition of a minor second?A: Two flutes playing a unison.Flute players spend half their time tuning their instrument and the other half playing out of tune. Q: Why do loud, ...

French horn jokes [ Instrument Jokes ]
Q: What do you get when you cross a French horn player with a goal post?A: A goal post that can't march.Q: How many French horn players does it take to change a light bulb?A: Just one, but ...