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Irish Jokes
 

Liam had left Dublin [ Irish Jokes ]
Liam had left Dublin to go up to Belfast for a bit of skydiving, Late Sunday evening he was found in tree by a farmer. What happened said the farmer, Liam replied, that his parachute failed to open, ...

walking holiday in Ireland [ Irish Jokes ]
A man was on a walking holiday in Ireland. He became thirsty so decided to ask at a home for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire. There ...

some scientific exploration [ Irish Jokes ]
Recently, Germany conducted some scientific exploration involving their best scientists. Core drilling samples of earth were taken to a depth of 50m and during the core examinations, small pieces of ...

Casey McCarthy [ Irish Jokes ]
Casey McCarthy had just arrived in New York City and was amazed at the enormity of everything. Having drunk a pint or two on the flight over, he sorely needed to relieve himself. The first door he ...

fulfill a lifelong dream [ Irish Jokes ]
For a holiday, Mulvaney decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn. He hired a guide and just as they neared the top, the men were caught in a snow slide. Three ...

Short Irish Jokes [ Irish Jokes ]
Q: Did you hear about the Irish abortion clinic?A: It has a 12 month waiting list.Q: What's long & green & has a low I.Q.?A: A St. Patrick's Day ParadeQ: Why do people wear ...

blind farmer [ Irish Jokes ]
The blind farmer was often taken for a walk in the fields by a kind neighbor. However kindly the neighbor might have been, he was undoubtedly a coward. When a bull charged towards them one day, he ...

Young man [ Irish Jokes ]
"Young man," said the judge, looking sternly at the defendant. "It's alcohol and alcohol alone that's responsible for your present sorry state!" "I'm glad to ...

The local District Judge [ Irish Jokes ]
The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on ...

Monahan stumbled into a saloon [ Irish Jokes ]
Monahan stumbled into a saloon, half crocked. "Say," he said to the bartender, "how tall is a penguin?" "About two and a half feet." "Thank God!" cried ...

Paddy was an inveterate drunkard [ Irish Jokes ]
Paddy was an inveterate drunkard. The priest met him one day, and gave him a strong lecture about drink. He said, "If you continue drinking as you do, you'll gradually get smaller and ...

A surgeon and an architect [ Irish Jokes ]
A surgeon and an architect, both English, were joined by an Irish politician, and all fell to arguing as to whose profession was the oldest. Said the surgeon, "Eve was made from Adam's rib, ...

Some years ago [ Irish Jokes ]
Some years ago, Michael J. Flanagan, a successful New York contractor, was standing on the deck of the Staten Island Ferry when a car got loose and sent him into the river where he drowned. The ...

The American tourist in Dublin [ Irish Jokes ]
The American tourist in Dublin had been complaining a great deal about the food. "Here," he said to the waitress holding out a piece of meat for inspection, "do you call that ...

The Boston taxi driver [ Irish Jokes ]
The Boston taxi driver backed into the stationary fruit stall and within seconds he had a cop beside him. "Name?" "Brendan O'Connor." "Same as mine. Where are you ...