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Mistakes on a resume [ Job/Office Jokes ]
These are from actual resumes: "Personal: I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs. "I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them ...

Play the Office Game [ Job/Office Jokes ]
Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office Game which awards points as follows: ONE POINTRun one lap around the office at top speed. Walk ...

Identifying wasted time [ Job/Office Jokes ]
TO: ALL PERSONNELFROM: ACCOUNTING It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" ...

Want a day off work? [ Job/Office Jokes ]
So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, ...

Fun with telemarketers [ Job/Office Jokes ]
What to say to a telemarketer! One of the things that has always bugged me (and I'm sure it has most of you, too) is to sit down to dinner only to be interrupted by a phone call from a ...

Have incredible dogs [ Job/Office Jokes ]
Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were. The first was an engineer who said his dog could do math calculations. His dog was named "T-Square", and he told him to get some ...

Application rejections [ Job/Office Jokes ]
Baxter ConnersVice PresidentCompany 203203 Wall St.New York, NY 10015Dear Mr. Conners,Thank you for your letter of February 17th. After careful consideration I regret to inform you that I am unable ...

The resume bloopers [ Job/Office Jokes ]
These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine:1. I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.2. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and ...

Unique job interviews [ Job/Office Jokes ]
Job Interview Quotations Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees.A job ...

Have a life after death [ Job/Office Jokes ]
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied. "Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss ...

Murphy's work laws [ Job/Office Jokes ]
MURPHY'S LAWS ON WORK A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. The more crap ...

Company buzz words [ Job/Office Jokes ]
New Corporate Buzz Words for the 90's Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. Body Nazis: Hard-core exercise ...

The job security quiz [ Job/Office Jokes ]
The job security quiz will help judge how long you'll end up at your current job and what will become of you.The boss appears at your cubicle and finds you playing DOOM at your desk, you... A. ...

The office happenings [ Job/Office Jokes ]
Quote from a recent meeting: "We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done".Quote from the Boss... "I didn't say it was ...

Pay for your past bills [ Job/Office Jokes ]
A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager ...