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Disorder in the Court! [ Lawyer Jokes ]
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of ...

A man and his Alligator [ Lawyer Jokes ]
A man and his alligator walk into a bar and the man asks, "Does this bar serve lawyers?""Of course we do," replied the bartender."Great," said the man, "I'd ...

My dad's a Lawyer [ Lawyer Jokes ]
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the ...

Lawyer in a car wreck [ Lawyer Jokes ]
One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the ...

Old dying lawyer [ Lawyer Jokes ]
A stingy old lawyer was on his deathbed. He instructed his wife to fill two large pillowcases with money thinking he could pick them up on his way to heaven. Several weeks after his funeral the widow ...

Lawyers and sperm [ Lawyer Jokes ]
What do a lawyer and sperm have in common?They both have a one in a million chance of being human. ...

5000 dead lawyers [ Lawyer Jokes ]
What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?A good start! ...

dying woman needs brain [ Lawyer Jokes ]
A woman diagnosed as having a brain tumor was told by her doctor that she would need the transplant of a one-pound brain. The doctor then asked, "What type of brain do you want?" "What ...

Dead lawyer's grave [ Lawyer Jokes ]
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two ...

billy's father is a lawyer [ Lawyer Jokes ]
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?" Tim stood up and proudly said, ...

Lawyer vs Physician [ Lawyer Jokes ]
A lawyer and a physician had a dispute over precedence.They referred it to Diogenes, who gave it in favor of the lawyer as follows:"Let the thief go first, and the executioner follow." ...

a thief and his lawyer [ Lawyer Jokes ]
Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing."Your ...

half of everything [ Lawyer Jokes ]
Three guys are walking in an abandoned warehouse. They find a genie bottle. They decide to rub it.A genie pops out. He says, "I will grant you each one wish, but there's a catch. Whatever ...

Lawyer Means... [ Lawyer Jokes ]
What's the definition of lawyer? The larval form of a politician. ...

Have a Drink [ Lawyer Jokes ]
Middle of the night, middle of nowhere, two cars both slightly cross over the white line in the center of the road.They collide and a fair amount of damage is done, although neither is hurt.It's ...