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A man walks into a doctor office [ Medicine ]
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear."What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.The ...

An eye-doctor was having his 40th birthday... [ Medicine ]
An eye-doctor was having his 40th birthday, and gathered lotsof friends and family in his house. His wife had made him a surprise cake, and led her husband blindfolded to a table where the cake was ...

A Short History of Medicine [ Medicine ]
A Short History of MedicineI have an earache...2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this ...

Oprectomy [ Medicine ]
Oprectomy KENMORE HOSPITAL 61 COMMONWEALTH AVE. BOSTON, MA. 02115 ...

Proctologists [ Medicine ]
Proctologists Of all the professions we fear, one stands out. No, it's not "mortician;" by then it's too late. This is a word that makes a certain part of our anatomy ...

Psychiatric Hotline [ Medicine ]
Psychiatric HotlineIf you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.If ...

A husband and wife are on a nudist beach... [ Medicine ]
A husband and wife are on a nudist beach when suddenly awasp buzzes into the wife's business end. Naturally enough,she panics.The husband is also quite shaken but manages to put a coaton her, ...

Howard had felt guilty all day long... [ Medicine ]
Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear ...

A woman consulted a doctor... [ Medicine ]
A woman consulted a doctor, explaining that for many years she sufferred from excessive flatulance, but there was never any sound or smell so she had done nothing about it until now. So the ...

A man walks in to a doctors office... [ Medicine ]
A man walks in to a doctors office and says, "Doctor you must help me. I have AIDS." The doctor replies, "Are you gay?" The man answers "yes." The doctor says, ...

The following statements were found on patient charts... [ Medicine ]
The following statements were found on patient's charts during a recent review of medical records. These statements were written by various health care professionals including (we're ...

An old woman came into her doctors office [ Medicine ]
An old woman came into her doctor's office and confessed to an embarrassingproblem. "I fart all the time, Doctor Johnson, but they're soundless, andthey have no odor. In fact, since ...

Two gynecologists meet at lunch... [ Medicine ]
Two gynecologists meet at lunch.The first one says, "I had a patient this morning witha clit like a dill pickle. The second one says,"That big or that green?"The first one ...

Jones is driving past the state mental hospital... [ Medicine ]
Jones is driving past the state mental hospital when his left reartire suffers a flat. While Jones is changing the tire, another cargoes by, running over the hub cap in which Jones was keeping the ...

After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children... [ Medicine ]
After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked.So they went to a doctor, and got checked over.The doctor took time to reassure them. "Don't worry," he ...