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Ugly person illness [ Mixed Jokes ]
A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any ...

Emotional extremes [ Mixed Jokes ]
The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the ...

Medical terminology [ Mixed Jokes ]
Artery -- Study of paintingsBacteria -- Back door of cafeteriaBarium -- What doctors do when treatment failsBowel -- Letter like A.E.I.O.UCaesarean section -- District in RomeCat scan -- Searching ...

A woman's dictionary [ Mixed Jokes ]
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a ...

Hick computer terms [ Mixed Jokes ]
Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter.Log Off: Don't add no wood.Monitor: Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.Mega Hertz: When yer not ...

Woman's instructions [ Mixed Jokes ]
THE WOMAN'S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany. Don't imagine ...

Guide for all women [ Mixed Jokes ]
A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO WHAT A MAN IS REALLY SAYING: I'M HUNGRY.I'm hungry. I'M SLEEPY.I'm sleepy. I'M TIRED.I'm tired. I'VE GOTTA GO.Get out of the way and stay ...

The guide for all men [ Mixed Jokes ]
WOMEN S LANGUAGE TRANSLATEDYes = NoNo = YesMaybe = NoI m sorry. = You ll be sorry.We need... = I wantIt s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want... = You ll ...

A man's translations [ Mixed Jokes ]
These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say..."IT'S A GUY THING"Translated:* "There is no rational ...

Woman's translations [ Mixed Jokes ]
The wife says: You wantThe wife means: You wantThe wife says: We needThe wife means: I wantThe wife says: It's your decisionThe wife means: The correct decision should be obviousThe wife says: ...

Mother's dictionary [ Mixed Jokes ]
Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.Defense: What you'd better have around de yard if you're going to let the children play outside.Drooling: How teething babies ...

Evaluation comments [ Mixed Jokes ]
Dictionary of Evaluation Comments Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out. AVERAGE: Not ...

Evaluating progress [ Mixed Jokes ]
A keen analyst: Thoroughly confused.Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job.Active socially: Drinks heavily.Alert to company developments: An office gossip.Approaches difficult ...

Miscellaneous terms [ Mixed Jokes ]
Arbitrator ar'-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.Avoidable uh-voy'-duh-buhl: What a bullfighter tries to do.Baloney uh-lo'-nee: Where some ...

The skier's dictionary [ Mixed Jokes ]
Alp: One of a number of ski mountains in Europe. Also a shouted request for assistance made by a European skier on a U.S. mountain. An appropriate reply: "What Zermatter?" Avalanche: One of ...