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A young girl sees her father in the shower... [ Ouch ]
A young girl sees her father in the shower and asks what his testicles are. "Those are the Apples of the Tree of Life," he tells her, by way of poetic concealment.She tells this to her ...

The definition of a phallic symbol [ Ouch ]
This girl walks in to a doctors office and she asks "Whats a failic symbol?Doctor says "you're kidding.."Girl says "no! I don't know! Whats a failic ...

This guy walks in to a bathroom... [ Ouch ]
This guy walks in to a bathroom. There is a hole in the wall, and a signthat says "put your dick in here, we'll do what your wife does for you". Sothe guy puts his dick in there, and ...

Condom Modelling Rejection [ Ouch ]
Condom Modelling Rejection TROJAN CONDOM COMPANY 6969 Slippery Root Drive Droptrouser, NC 22269Dear John Doe,We regret to inform you that we ...

A man walks into a pub... [ Ouch ]
The following was contributed by Emil:A man walks into a pub, sits down at the bar, and says to the barman,"cor! I've just had my first blow-job and it was great! -- I'll have alarge ...

Paying bills [ Ouch ]
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a prettygirl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?""Only one kiss per yard, " replied ...

Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro... [ Ouch ]
Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a$100 bet on the side. "But," said the duffer, "since you're obviouslymuch better than I, to even it a bit you ...

Good fortune [ Ouch ]
A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG ! He looks around: nobody's there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG ...

The blind date had not been all that great and... [ Ouch ]
The blind date hadn't been all that great and she was relieved the evening was finally over. At her apartment door, he suddenly said "Hey! You wanna see my underwear?" Before she ...

Mirror, mirror [ Ouch ]
Mirror, mirror A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make ...

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar... [ Ouch ]
A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should ...

A caring son [ Ouch ]
It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in with ...

I walked up to a really pretty girl at the bar... [ Ouch ]
I walked up to a really pretty girl at the bar the other night and said, "Hey, babe, can I buy you a drink?"She said, "Do you like sex?"I said, "Of course I like ...

The guy leered at the babe at the yacht-club... [ Ouch ]
The guy leered at the babe at the yacht-club. "Hey, baby, would you help me 'raise my mast'?""No thanks," she said sweetly. "I heard about you from your ex and ...

Changed my mind! [ Ouch ]
This bloke picks up woman at the local pub. They go for a romanticwalk down the street. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll hislustful desires rise to a fever pitch.He is just about to put the ...