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Don't say this to a cop [ Police Jokes ]
The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.19. Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged ...

Swerve to avoid a box [ Police Jokes ]
Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had ...

Looking into their eyes [ Police Jokes ]
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been ...

Dealing with criminals [ Police Jokes ]
A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just won't believe what happened this evening , in all my years on the force ...

Partner takes vacation [ Police Jokes ]
Signs Your Partner Needs A Vacation9. Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren.8. He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thinks he'd look good in a collar.7. He wants ...

New person in prison [ Police Jokes ]
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. ...

Wife helps out the cop [ Police Jokes ]
A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:Man: What's the problem officer?Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.Man: No sir, I was going 65.Wife: Oh ...

Catching the shoplifter [ Police Jokes ]
A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you ...

He's drunk at the bar [ Police Jokes ]
One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five ...

Getting a new deputy [ Police Jokes ]
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job."Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 ...

Working in the garden [ Police Jokes ]
A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife: "I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisioner, knowing that the prison ...

Catch a drunk driver [ Police Jokes ]
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.The passenger, Bubba, said "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a police roadblock!! We're ...

Prison Versus Housewives [ Police Jokes ]
In prison, you get three square meals a day. At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it. In prison, you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and mingle. At ...

Lost far from a home [ Police Jokes ]
A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris gets out.The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and ...

Getting in an accident [ Police Jokes ]
A Rabbi and a Priest are driving one day and, by a freak accident, have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly, neither of the clerics has a ...